I’ve been dying inside, and I don’t think I can make it to the next year . I have no one, my own mother didn’t want to see me on my birthday and got mad at me for getting mad that she forgot my birthday. My life has been a downward spiraling of pain and I don’t want to take it anymore.
I dedicated myself to improving every aspect of my life with the goal of presenting myself as polished and perfect once I became a business owner. At the time, I wasn't too upset about it because it felt like fun. Eventually, I poured everything into it—my energy, thoughts, emotions, hopes, and dreams. I sacrificed almost everything: relationships, my home, finances. I never felt outright miserable, but I felt hollow. Death seemed indifferent to me because everything felt meaningless, especially after my first taste of "success." By that point, I was alone, without a home, living in a tent and eating poorly. I lost so much, but the hardest loss was a part of myself. The innocence and purity of my soul were eroded, and it was my own doing. I chose to endure the pain willingly, believing that this was the price successful people paid. Maybe that's the only sacrifice the universe accepts in exchange for "success."
I feel so fake. I've battled with depression for years and have been on medication for it for about a year... It takes the sadness away but doesn't take away the inner thoughts. And I'm left feeling like all I'm accomplishing is making the mask of happiness easier to put on but, I can't shake this feeling that all I'm ever doing is putting on a mask for everyone else's sake. And grant it it's nice that it's easier to mask up for everyone but man.... I'd give anything to feel like it wasn't just a mask. To just feel happy. Idk what that even is anymore... And what really hurts the most is feeling like I've fought depression so long that even if I manage to reach happiness I'll never be able to recognize it because of the past scars and trauma. Leaving me with this feeling that regardless of how I feel, what treatment I seek, or Pharmacy help I receive that I'll never be able to be happy with my life or who I perceive myself to be.
I'd be the first to hug these poor souls despairing... I wish i could help and be in their lives man
I’m drowning again…
So tired of being lonely
You know what hurts? The fact that every single day I feel alone, I think about how we humans literally depend on eachother, yet, I sit there with nobody by my side. That sucks. It sucks because I know if I try to ask someone a day after I cry, I won't have the courage to do it. And I also fear what they'll say to me, that I have no reason to be sad. It sucks. I hate it. But I also love how God stays by my side, comforting me despite the fact I fail so much. Despite the things I've done. Everything.
I am always jealous of people who have friends and close people around them, People will only keep me around to use me
imma fight back this time and so should y'all
I'm tired of crying every night
Everywhere I look, I see couples that are married with kids, and I can't get a text message back
Every day there is a 99.99% chance that I'll agree to go to sleep and wake up again tomorrow.
Nobody gives a f*CK about our feelings not even the people that we thought that loves us, just move forward and live on.
I’m going to die alone aren’t I…
6:00 I’m crying at work man . Things not going so well man
If I disappeared no one would care
Dang it really hurts me seeing a grown man cry☹️😭
Does anyone know the song 6:36?
@why.do.ninjas.call.me.master